Going Out and Finding Yourself

In Momma, Topics by TracieLeave a Comment

A side effect of being a mom is how we seem to lose ourselves. We do it willingly. Giving is a natural part of being a mom—after all, we’ve brought these tiny beings into the world through no choice of their own, and we want to make sure that we give everything to them.  We don’t sleep, sometimes don’t eat, we give up exercise. We don’t go anywhere aside from kid-friendly places. We crawl into their rooms after they’ve slept for a three-hour stretch to make sure they’re breathing. We hover in between light sleep and no sleep in case they need us. When another baby comes, we repeat the cycle.  There was a time where I don’t think I had more than three hours of sleep in a row for two years.

If you’re like me, one day you wake up and realize you’ve slept through the night. The babies have traded their pacifiers and blankets for baseball bats and leotards. When you ask if they want to go to the park, they already have plans with their friends. They give you a hurried hug and ‘love you’! and they’re off. What’s that noise persistently rampant in the house? Oh..it’s silence.  The house is empty. With giving everything you’ve had to your kids, you realized you’ve lost a little bit of yourself.  I know you’re missing yourself. I know you wonder where that girl went. It’s time to get some of her back.

The remedy? Start by planning a girls’ night out. This will take a while because finding a free night that your friends can agree on might seem near impossible. “Caiden has a soccer tournament that weekend/I’ll be out of town for work/we have basketball.” But once you find that free night, step one is done.

Step two is finding the perfect outfit. You need to go a bit out of your comfort zone and not fall you’re your old mom habits of workout pants and a t-shirt. When you look good, you feel good. Leather pants? Yes. Do it. DO IT.  

Step three: Play music while you’re getting ready. Now is the time to think about who you were at 22. Few of us want to go back to that angsty time of not knowing who we really were yet, but remember the feeling of hope and anticipation that 22-year-old felt.  A night out was full of possibilities. Her whole life was ahead of her. Embrace that feeling of your 22-year-old self.

Step four: Find your signature cocktail. You’ve been running on coffee for years. Mix up something new.

Step Five: Go OUT. You look amazing. You feel amazing. Bits of yourself are starting to come back. Dance on a table if you want. Age is just a number tonight. When you go into the bathroom to check your lipstick, be glad that you are where you are, but also catch a glimpse of that 22-year-old with all of her hopes and dreams. Say to her, “THERE you are! I’ve missed you.”

Outfit: Leather leggings from Express


Shoes: Mary Jane Sprela Pump from DSWhttps://www.dsw.com/en/us/product/unisa-sprela-pump/440915

Song: 22 by Taylor Swift https://open.spotify.com/album/5gb8MAEH9D2EYylqlWNBiK

Cocktail: Blueberry Lemondrop Martini


2 ounces Blueberryberry Vodka

2 ounces Triple Sec

1 ounce Cranberry or fresh lemon juice

1 ounce Lime juice


Place vodka, triple sec, cranberry juice and lime juice in a shaker with ice.

Shake well and strain into a martini glass.

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